dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
