one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
do herpes really smell.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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