...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
