I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
