somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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