Whatcha textin bout Willis?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
