I just made out with a guy for $7.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
