im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize