look no pants
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
