so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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