I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
