It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
