I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
vagina is talking i cant
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
