i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
