Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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