How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
