at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
