This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
