Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
