ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
