Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
