just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize