How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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