i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
