Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
