i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Who died my cat blue again?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
