I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
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Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
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People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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