This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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