I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
