Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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