To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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