Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
