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I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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