I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
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you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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