I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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