I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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