i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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