Cold hands, warm shart.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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