Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Vodka?
Forever.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
