I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize