Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize