so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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