He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
