just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
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