i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
