Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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