Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I have post one night stand depression
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