with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
