He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
