dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
