While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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