Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize