i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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