i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
