No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
