"it" just moved
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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