420 ftw
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
