I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
