hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
