You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
