I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
