do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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