i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
