the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
