so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
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There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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