alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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