i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This toilet bowl is my home.
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