Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
