the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
