I swear she didn't look like that last week.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
