yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
